A BIG thank you to the greatly appreciated concern showered upon me with regards to the last post. :)

I'm feeling much better already. And have firmly decided that yes I would go ahead with the application but, still torn between uni of auckland and uni of melbourne.

Uni was great today! I laughed till my tummy ached real bad due to amy's contagious laughter and all the funny antics that emerged at lunch. Ears red, face flushed. haha all the symptoms of having laughed too hard.

Well anyway, DID YOU KNOW??? the word "desu" in japanese can induce HUGE balls of flying saliva. Sighness (Stop laughing elaine and tracia). It was indeed for the poor victim to have one huge ball splat upon the upper portion of her ear whilst she tried to remain calm. For this year's teacher's day would someone please kindly give him a face mask or something. BECAUSE I WAS POISONED WITH VENOMOUS SPIT. and i hope no others suffer the same fate. yucks!!

ooh.. talking to cher now. ta!!

I feel so rotten, and needless to say, so damn upset.

Had a short discussion with amy this morning about living alone overseas and she said it definately was something that was hard to grapple with. At the thought of that i was hesitant about going ahead with all the research and preperation for INSTEP. Which I may not get in the end but i thought I'd just give it my best shot anyway because despite all heartache and pain I'd feel being alone, it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity to be independent and to survive in another country. And i really do want to go either to UK or New Zealand for a short 6 months exchange. It would have been good for geography studies as well cos we hardly get to do any fieldwork here as well.

And so now that I've taken all the forms and want to do my research on module coordination and everything I thought well I should inform my parents and see what they say about it first. Because at the end of the day I'd still respect their opinions. But what dad said just really ripped me apart into pieces. Above all other issues he just said he didn't want yet another money burden slapped upon him should i go overseas for six months.

Which is really what the fuck. No consideration whatever on what it could possibly do for my own self being or how it could enrich me in any way possible. How it could be a once in a lifetime opportunity where I could go overseas and study in the uni but not have to pay the hefty uni fees. All that mattered was that I didn't slap another burden on him. And I nearly screamed well I fucking will pay my own way through.

I am so damn peeved off and really just UPSET. Thing is I have to decided now if I really want to go because once i submit in my form and all goes well there is no turning back. And I really do hope I'd get through because I want to go.

Actually you know what, I think I'm just going to go ahead with it. I am going to do my research and match my modules up, meet up with the various module coordinatoors and submit in my form then see how it goes from there. If i don't get through at least I tried my very best and gave it a shot. If I get through then there's no stopping me then. I can support myself through those 6 months anyway. Even if i can't i'll make sure i scrape through and make it back. Why the hell do i need to be dependent on parents who don't give a shit about anything aside from money.

I just can't believe that was the first and only issue that popped up in our conversation. And it was just the perfect! way to end the already sour day that i was having. Maybe it was my bad mood that started from the minute i had diarrhoea in the middle of the night. There wasn't any concensus at all within the group concensus and I felt really pissed that our very own group member had put us up for bad comparison every other minute. I mean what's done has been done so instead of slamming the whole damn thing and contemplating what shitty grade we'd get at the end why can't we just sit down calmly and see how we can salvage the situation.

I ought to drown myself in the fish tank now.

Tired. Really burnt out for today man. Lessons from 830 all the way till 230, then followed by group discussion and then jap class till 730. And now that I'm back i had my dose of daily soppy hk serials and now i've gotta figure out activity 2 for math class at friggin 830(again) tomorrow. I really hate mondays man.

Perks of the day?

- lor mee for lunch was really good
- wonderful amy brought wafers + egg cupcake and raihan brought uncle tobys to tide us throught the human geog tummy growls
- i handed in my geog assignment one which i worked till late last night for
- Gavin was a nice boy. haha... thanks for walking me to the staircase. :)
- dictation was quite a breeze. (i studied through the 2 hrs lec and in the end it was exactly what we had written before)

Gross happenings.
- had a small encounter with an unexpected person and got rather irritated.

I am quite optimistic after all. haha upon reviewing my day i realise there isn't much that could have gone wrong. Maybe its just the tiredness that's putting a strain on me now as i type.

This entry is quite pointless.

Hmm JASON!!! was dashing yesterday. *grins* I think we seriously felt as if we were his parents or something cos i could feel the beam from all parents around and it was overwhelming. And OMG tracia-san was there yesterday as well!! We were actually sitting in the exact same section but just that she was at the bottom part whereas I was at the top. Gee... and we only found out this evening.

Looking out for Jason was like looking for an ant amongst a sea of ants. They all looked pretty much the same. I even took a pic of this guy whom we had to debate on whether or not it was jason himself. hurhur... and then all of a sudden everyone rushed onto the parade ground and so we rushed in too. I think i disrupted someone's photo. As in everyone was taking photos here and there, then i accidentally stood next to this couple and made weird gestures to yans who was being an ass. Safti is such a big and pretty place. haha not that i want to reside there, but it was nicer than expected!

Well other than that, another bout of pilates classes have started. And so has my first diet plan for 2005. (i have 24312412433 plans in one year) Alas!, it was disrupted today by my parents. Whom I tell you are mnuts. They ask me to get off the bus so that they can drive me home when i am just 4 bus stops away from my home. Despite my saying no i do not want dinner cos i'll be drinking that gross shake thing, they return with bengawan solo which must be consumed by tonight cos they go bad overnight. ARGGGHHHHH. Now you know why i have so many damn plans in one year. Cos once it gets disrupted, when i try to start it again tmr it becomes diet plan number 2.

What the heck am i driving at?! Incoherent and brain dead. sigh.

Diane Reeves was sensational!!! Accompanied by her own band which comprised of a base, a drummer and a pianist(whom i fell in love with).

The pianist aka peter martin had such nimble fingers I wanted to bite them off. They ran all over the grand piano and there was this point in time where he doubled up on both the keyboard and piano. It was then that i threw my hands up in the air in sheer delightment to ask for more more and more!

The drummer blew me away as well with his fast reflexes and ability to churn out such a good beat that had us doing a sort of shake in our chairs. And he is so cool in the sense that he was able to flick away one drum stick, and whip out another from god knows where in one split second.

However it was still the star of the show that swept our souls away. Her deep, sexy, firmly anchored voice belted out i think about 7 numbers and of all the songs i liked the last one. Can't remember what the song was called though, as it's really hard to differentiate which ones are her reeal songs from those that she came up with on the spot as a kind on interaction with the audience.

In the words of a true diva indeed, she sang,
"Love is a prelude to sorrow".
Which is something to ponder upon isn't it? Heh.

So at the end of the performance she gave a divine encore and the three of us inched our way to the back door waiting to rush out so that we would be the first few in line for her autograph. Haha instantly became her fans last night man. Her voice and the way she sang was in perfect harmony with the band and she has the ability to manipulate her already versatile voice to go exactly with what her cutie band members were playing, which is wow.

And Mimi, shell and i have occupational hazard!! hahaha.... yesterday being the first performance i went to as a patron, we visited every usher on every level. And had to hold back natural instinct to ask a patron to stop taking pictures. Looked out for latecomer's cue and the huge number of latecomers that streamed in.... oh boy mimi had to turn my head back to where the real show was taking place. haha...

The next show i want to go to is pedals and pipes!! It's a pipe organ performance and costs only $12.50 for students. Aside from Jason and Mimi, anyone else wanna go for this one?!?!? Please tell me asap ya as by the end of this week I'll prolly be going to get tickets already. This one gotta sit at circle 2 cos that's where the pipe organs are.

Oh yes and I actually saw the drummer and pianist before the show!! when we three jokers went to the toilet at the green room. Haha the funniest thing that happened was that we saw this black woman sitting with them and another that was surfing the internet. So i said, Diane Reeves has to be the one sitting down with them cos why the hell would she be surfing the net before her performance!! Then when she came on stage, she looked some sort like the one we had contemplated about. Then came the autograph signing and Diane Reeves came out first and mimi and i were like oh gosh, SHE WAS THE ONE WE SAW SITTING DOWN!!!!!! then right behind her came the real woman who was sitting down. And I laughed till my sides hurt real bad. So, Diane Reeves was the ONE who was surfing the net after all.

Hilarious man. And not bad an experience as a patron. I had good fun. :)

Cheers to a good day ahead!!!

I really like looking at the stuff they sell along Blk 3 of nie. haha... cheap and some are pretty nice! I remember buying a watch(for 10 bucks!!) and a pair of nike shorts last sem. And today I bought a pair of slippers in a unique shade of green(for 10 bucks as well!!). happy. :) :)

What the hell she just came and ruined my mood.

If you are asking for clothes for a friend who is damn skinny, would you ask someone who is like twice her size for old colthes to be given to that skinny girl? And then tell the fatty girl that oh "i forgot you were so big sized."

She ought to be drowned in my toilet bowl.

Life is just all about complains isn't it. I can't ever seem to be on the optimistic side. For the simple fact that I am easily disturbed. And will probably never ever gain enlightenment nor inner peace. So I shall sulk to the ends of this earth and complain till my mouth rots because trust me even as my mouth rots I will still babble on. (given right complaining ka-ki)

Funnily, I am still grappling with the issues of daily life, rather than my assignments that have been steadily piling. Perhaps I should let homework sweep me away into a land where papers fly amidst the air and where I am blocked out by the draining sound of my own heart feeling utterly wrenched.

Sharn, Thank you. It was really sweet of you. :)

I left my new claire's ring in the pocket of the esplanade pants.
I left my new claire's ring in the pocket of the esplanade pants.
I left my new claire's ring in the pocket of the esplanade pants.
I left my new claire's ring in the pocket of the esplanade pants.
I left my new claire's ring in the pocket of the esplanade pants.

We shall leave that as yesterday's trauma. Ended the day on a sour note because of my god forsaken ring which i carelessly left in the pockets and it is nowhere to be found which means it probably fell out somewhere out there. WHY??? I sigh. Yesterday was a good day! I had a good time with ah chu as she updated me on stuff and we walked around for awhile, then she went off to meet a sponsor (which is so damn pro) and i went about bought myself some cny undies, bras and sleepwear. haha... cheap man! Go flock to la senza now.... the undies are going at 4 for 21 bucks and they're pretty!

Why the hell am i advertising for them anyway. I am extremely unbalanced today. Sort of dreading work tonight as well but it'll be my last night for the next few months so oh well might as well enjoy it! Last night I was blessed with a great partner who taught me how to say thank you in welsh and irish gallic. Fwaaah I was really impressed by this particular usher. Could have declared him my new idol.

Next week is going to be good. I have no school from wednesday onwards. Wahahahaha... yipppe!

I still live in the horrors and fears of the master of the house. So afraid that I would do something wrong that would make him really pissed off. And i think it's more of a brought up thing because as of current status today, there is no basis for my fear.

Before leaving the house,
-ensure that all windows are closed. The kitchen window has to be open to a certain extent
-ensure all lights and fans are switched off
-throw away the rubbish in the bin

Upon entrance into the house,
-open all windows immediately
-clear all the grocery bags of their stuffs if any

On top of all that,
-I cannot take a shower when it's about time for him to come home.
-I can NEVER be late even for one minute
-walk extra fast so that he won't have to wait cos he walks damn fast
-press the lift button when he's locking the doors so that it'll be just the right timing
-Open the door and gate prior to his arrival to wear his shoes
-never wear shoes at the same time as him

Lastly, scratch his car and he will personally scratch your face.

Sigh.. sometimes i really feel like i'm living in some military unit. Everything's so rigid and systematic. And yesterday I had a taste of one of his blow-ups because i was 15 minutes late. And because i didn't want them to rush through their food just so that I can reach the tuition place in time, I opted to go on my own and it was seen as an act of defiance, that i didn't need nor want a lift from them.

It's not that I don't want a lift from them. It's more like I don't want the pressures of having to take a lift from them. And i feel bad to tell them about how pressured i feel because i doubt they'll ever understand. I'd really rather take a train or bus back because then i can take my time to wind down from the day's happenings. Instead of having to run like a mad dog through the esplanade sometimes just cos they're already round the corner and my dad hates to go round and round. Plus it's always topped with a scolding upon reaching the car cos they always think that it was ME who was slow in doing stuff thus I came out late. Basis for their accusation : they claim to have seen some of my colleagues. HARH!!!! how in the world would they have known who the heck my colleagues were when every night it's different.

I am deeply saddened but nonetheless this sadness will go by till the next incident pops up. No way will i ever emerge from this fear because at the end of the day they are my parents and i would have to do their bidding. Or perhaps one day I'll rid myself of this fear and probably miss it. hah.

For now, things will still remain the same. And school is starting to stress me out. I haven't really gotten the hang of having to keep up with my tutorials yet.

Life, oh life!!!

I found it, I found it, I found it, I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My phantom cd has been lying in mel's house for the past 7 months. And she had the cheek to tell me she was just listening to it yesterday. i sigheth!

And I've sorted out my uni stuff finally. Submitted the loan application finally. Gotta read my lec notes and study for dictation now.

Yes, no more thinking about non-important stuffs. Insignificant toils of life. -bangs them all out of my head-

My wardrobe is colour coded now. yay! Anyone wanna join me for swimming on wed and fri mornings!??!

hajimameshite!!

Haha Jap was fun!! Felt like I was in kindergarden all over again cos the rest had dictation(gasp! it's only the 2nd lesson) whilst us first timers had to write out the words in jap. haha oh man.. i think the rest of the class pple are either genuinely geniuses or they have learnt japanese before. We were made to say this short introduction thing in jap and they did so with such fluency my mouth was agape. I was almost half stammering my way through!! But nonetheless my enthusiasm has not died down. I will persevere!!!

Still in the midst of my com loan application, but sigh I am stuck once again. Not sure whether I should increase the memory size. Gotta put it on hold once again...

Off to meet mum for dinner now then!

The strong winds back in Singapore are starting to piss me off. Tissue flies all over the place in my kitchen, and the cloths too, and the clothes start flying off the hangers as well. But oh well at least it's not that hot and humid anymore, not that drastic a change for me when i got back from japan a few nights ago.

Ever since, uni has started and the assignments have started filtering in as well. I've been online fretting over my timetable which i could not get till tuesday night, and now i'm looking at some computer loan thing. Once i get all this administrative work done it'll be time to start on all my assignments once again. Haha I am actually looking forward to doing some of them. They sound pretty fun! And my resolution for this sem? I will not work at the esplanade till i have a mid term recess and hols. Lesson learnt from last sem that I should focus more on my assignments and not wait for exams to save my ass.

Well anyway! let me give you guys an update about my trip to japan! The land of the rising sun so called, haha and ironically when i first arrived in kansai airport in osaka, that was exactly what i saw. The rising sun. How apt! Well anyway then we got into the tour bus and started the tour. If i'm not wrong, I think i went to kobe on the first day, then to this place where we had the best ramen that ever existed. Such thrill really, sitting along the busy street which is freezing cold to have slurpilicious noodles that tasted fantastic! Visited some temples, and oh ya we took pictures with a novice geisha. Haha for those who have read memoirs of a geisha like me, I was kinda excited to see a real geisha.

Then we went to mount fuji (I was so looking forward to that) but were denied access due to the heavy snowfall. (dammit) but nonetheless we experienced the wonders of standing on a snow filled pavement with snow drizzling down from the sky thus making us all suaku-excited. Seriously it was such a nice sight i tell you, aside from the fact that the pavement gets damn slippery that is.

The cold had a numbing effect. Even with gloves, you can chop off my fingers and I wouldnt even have known. Thank god for ear muffies which kept me sane from wanting to run around and proclaim the end of the world because i was so friggin cold. Haha the lowest dip was -5 degrees celcius. It wasn't much of a problem with the body because i was well wrapped. It was more of the hands, legs, nose and ears that were killing. I like the cold, but i would have preferred it above 0 degrees?!?!

So all i ate was tempura, bentos, sushi, japanese curry(i love!), green tea ice-cream and most often, ramen.On the last day the sizzling hot beef was worth remembering too. Food was good, but expensive. Then again, what in Japan is not expensive! ONE tempura cost like 8 bucks. But what left the biggest impression on me was their high level of cleanliness. Being the clean toilet freak, I visited the toilets in Japan and was so pleased. The first country ever that has passed the highest level of toilet cleanliness. And they have butt washers as well as toilet seat covers which you can flush away after each use and seat warmers. I nearly puked upon entrance into one of the toilets in Changi airport upon return. The smell was just revolting.

I went beserk in disneyland. Sigh given a choice, I wouldn't mind camping there for 3 days cos everything's so pretty!!!!! Looking forward to going to hk's disneyland now. haha..

Oh darn I've gotta make myself some lunch now and then run off to uni. I'm starting my jap class today! I mean I've gotta learn some jap cos I had no idea at all what they were saying. Language barrier was the only thing that made the trip a little less enjoyable.

Shall upload the pics and add in more stuff next time. ta!